The Superbowl is in New Orleans for a record 63rd year (yay!), however the New Orleans Saints will be watching from home (boo). As screwy as it sounds, the Superbowl still must take place so therefore the playoffs must take place. Here’s a handy guide to some possible Superbowl matchups.
The Retro Bowl
Denver Broncos vs. San Francisco 49ers
Why: These two played in Superbowl 24 in 1990 in the Superdome. Remember that? What a special memory for all who do remember that. If this happens I’m paying top dollar for any shirt printed in 1990 I can find with Joe Montana throwing a beaded football to Jerry Rice. Let’s throw a 1990 Superbowl party where we play nothing but songs from 1990 and watch a movie made in 1990 instead of the game. New England Patriots vs. Green Bay Packers could also work for a Retro Bowl but that was in 1997 and you don’t want to recreate 1997 in any way.
The 10 Million People Nightmare Bowl
Atlanta Falcons vs. Houston
Oilers Titans Texans
Why: These cities are about 4 hours away from New Orleans if you don’t stop to use the bathroom and if you average a steady 82mph. If you lived that close to the greatest city in the country and your favorite team was playing the biggest game in its history wouldn’t you make the drive regardless of whether or not you were actually attending the game? I think most people will do this even though it’s a tough call - the celebration party in the actual city the team is based in will probably also be the best. But New Orleans is the best at celebrating so the nod goes to “travel to New Orleans, come on let’s go.”
That said, I think you’ll see the highest number of locals getting the shit out of this city if this is the matchup.
The Locally Relevant Bowl
Washington Redskins vs. Denver Broncos
Why: He’s played so much NFL ball that his local magic has been sucked away in the minds of many, but Peyton Manning is a New Orleanian and typically, New Orleanians love New Orleanians. He’ll be loved so much more when he’s retired and becomes the GM of the Saints in 25 years but when it comes to AFC teams to root for, Denver’s your choice unless you owe your weird cousin Ron in Houston a favor.
Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin THE THIRD ONE lived in New Orleans for a bit. Good enough for me.
The High Risk High Reward Bowl
Atlanta Falcons vs. “Anybody else”
Why: If the Falcons win the Superbowl in New Orleans, this is undoubtedly the worst year in the history of Louisiana football (LSU BCS fiasco, bounty fiasco, the New Orleans Voodoo got destroyed in the playoffs fiasco <just kidding><am I?>). If the Falcons lose the Superbowl in New Orleans, a lot of people get taunted on Poydras on the way to Bourbon, on Bourbon, at the airport and then forever after that on Twitter.
Through a combination of sheer luck, determination and having a friend who has a friend in the University of Florida Athletic Association (mostly the last one), I ended up with fun tickets to the Sugar Bowl tonight. One of these days there will be a Trew to the Game luxury box at every sporting event and each of you will be invited. Until then, let’s travel through my Sugar Bowl experience with some memories, thoughts and having a phone that has a camera that takes pretty good photos (mostly the last one).
Let’s start with the ticket itself, which I think is pretty cool and will make an awesome bookmark for the 2013 Sugar Bowl game day program that I purchased for $10 inside and that was for sale for $5 outside. My Florida Gator friends said that the Florida State logo was way too big and they swore it’s some sort of conspiracy. I swore back at them. They swore back at me. We were quiet for the rest of the night.
Since I gave my friend a ticket to the game, she got me a ticket to the Alumni Association hang out before the game. I guess their logo is a gator staring at a teddy bear in the water? (EDIT: I think I understand this now - the Louisville quarterback carries around a Teddy Bear with him, right? He had one on stage after the game)
More “awesome UF tailgate” photos:
Me in costume, wet dogs that would be wet even if they weren’t kicking back in hot dog water all afternoon and jambalaya that people from Gainesville call “rice”. Also, I am an asshole food snobbing jerk.
Reminder, Pelicans everywhere.
New kids game I guess? It’s called wrecking ball and you get in the middle of some soft bouncy material that’s hard to keep your balance on and then a volunteer throws a wrecking ball at you. I’m not sure how you win or if it’s even possible to win or if this is any fun at all. How did this thing get made? Can I make one of these things?
This was pretty cool. First they spell out Gators in cursive and then they make an outline of Florida which is most definitely in the top 5 of hardest states to outline. Bottom 5 is Colorado, Nebraska, Wyoming and the entire Northeast.
I was sitting on the Florida side who, even though they were getting beat pretty soundly the entire game, never really felt like they were out of it. At the end I moseyed my way over the Louisville side to take in the celebrations with them.
I watched the
Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl last night in 4 different places in no particular order and for no particular reason.
We started at Hoshun, which is a mediocre late night japanese restaurant on St. Charles. It does not feel good to say that about them but I eat good sushi pretty often and this is okay sushi at good sushi prices so it’s not my fault. We discussed getting a love boat. We did not get a love boat.
At halftime we went to Avenue Pub where they did not have dessert. Within the first minute of the third quarter we went to Houston’s where they have dessert.
We ate that dessert then decided to disband for everyone’s individual New Year’s Eve plans. My plans were to stay at home and do some writing and watch the LSU Tigers lose to the Clemson Tigers on a last second field goal.
I cannot help but feel that if we had gotten a love boat at Hoshun then Les Miles wouldn’t have called three passing plays on that last drive. I cannot help but feel that the last thing I ate in 2012 was a brownie with ice cream on it.